You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
