I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
