Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
