There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Farmville is her only friend.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
