I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
