officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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