He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
