so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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