Can i not drive my cunt home
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
