Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
