Screwed.edu
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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