and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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