just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
