The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Congratulations! We have a period
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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