how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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