So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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