Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
