Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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