I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
