best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
