I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
