You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
