No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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