Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
