Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
be right there i have to get my cape
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
