wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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