WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
