So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
