My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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