Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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