I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
