so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
