i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
