so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
