Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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