whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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