Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
