so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
