Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
