I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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