We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
