She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
