dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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