Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
