I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
