in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I've blown a few things in my day
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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