Whod you bang
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
