Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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