I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
