her vagine was all disorganized.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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