Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone

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(425): View more from Washington

You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink

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(706): View more from Georgia

six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.

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(440): View more from Ohio

all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

Thanks, mom, will do

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(616): View more from Michigan

I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.

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